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Be Brave --- Top 5 Ways to Move Past Fear Like a Boss

5/18/2015

6 Comments

 
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There are many times throughout our lives that we will be asked to deal with a fork in the road, to move through our fear, perhaps our greatest fear.


Thankfully, we always have a choice as to how to move forward. Sometimes you are given the opportunity to hang on to things which you've outgrown or no longer serve you (career paths, relationships, marriages etc.) or blaze a new trail in the direction that awakens your spirit and feeds your soul. Other times you are not given that choice. The life you once knew has shifted to the degree that you must make changes, you must move forward and through. But that means you must change. And change is scary, it's uncertain and, as humans, we tend to dislike uncertainty, BIG TIME! 


So if you find your self at this type of crossroads (you've just experienced the death or major illness of a loved one, the loss of a job, you are battling an illness, the loss of a relationship or marriage) and you are at a loss as to which direction to go, what actions to take or how to grab the reigns and start to create a sense of normalcy in your life; here are a few proven strategies which will help you find comfort, answers and a sense of direction.


Go inward - Meditate, pray, listen to uplifting audiobooks, read inspirational texts. Yes, I know you are busy, but trust me when I say "You must create this time for yourself."  You will be flooding your subconscious with positive thoughts and ideas, thereby helping to clear through the clutter and much of the uncertainty and fear that has been keeping you paralyzed. Do these things daily in order to move past your fear. 


Get outside - Whether it's a stroll in a nearby park or a four hour hike in the woods, you need to get outside in order to unplug and ground yourself in nature. It's amazing how much clarity you can receive when you stop over thinking everything. Unplugging and connecting with nature will help relieve your stress which will, in turn,  give your brain a break and put you in a position where productive thoughts and ideas can enter.  Schedule this as often as possible in order to move past your fear much faster. 


Talk it out - Find a friend that you can bounce ideas off of. Maybe someone who has been through something similar to what you are currently dealing with. Meetup.com can be a great place to meet new people with specific interests (singles groups, working through divorce or illness groups etc.). Broadening your friendship base can go a long way towards offering you some new insight and perhaps provide you with some of the answers you're seeking.  Don't go into any conversation with a "poor me" attitude. If you come into the union with the idea that you are really wanting to glean some positive advise, then the likelihood of that happening increases dramatically. You may find that the person you are looking to learn from may actually benefit from conversing with you as well. The act of just "getting it out" can be incredibly therapeutic. 


Find your therapy and DO IT daily - What makes you happy? Really happy? Do something that puts a smile on your face and do it every day. Maybe gardening is your thing; swimming, walking, working out with weights, running, biking, yoga ... find what makes your heart sing and make time for it every day. Think of it as medicine. You need this in order to survive and thrive. Take your medicine daily and you will get past this challenging period far faster and with much more grace than choosing to neglect this very important piece. 


Let go of the outcome - Let's face it, we all would like to think that we are in control of our lives and while it's incredibly and empowering to control the things that we have an impact on, there is much that we do not have control over. It takes a brave person to be at peace with the fact that the person you love may die, the industry you've been in for years may no longer support you, your mate may not interested in saving the relationship ... the list goes on. The only thing you have control of in situations like this is your attitude about it and the actions you take as a result.


Remember that one person's curse is another's blessing. Let your challenge be your blessing. Learn from it, improve yourself as a result of it; allow yourself to become better, not bitter as a result. Control what you can (your attitude and actions) and let the rest go. 


You've got this!

xoxo

Kim Peterson
Founder,
CommonSenseHealth.org


#FaceYourFear #Confidence #MovePastPain

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Top 7 Ways to Move Past a Bad Relationship Decision

5/9/2015

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You know when you are given a learning opportunity disguised as being disappointed or let down? 

It happens. 

You believe in a person and, as it turns out, they were not who you thought they were. They were, in fact, the opposite of who you thought they were. 

Having this type of experience can lead to a real reality check. " How could I possibly have been SO WRONG...so stupid?!" You may even be questioning your sanity. What is wrong with you? In a word, nothing. You are human and you were given an opportunity to choose to learn or choose to become hardened as a result of this experience. 

The reality of the situation is that you've been given a great gift. The gift is to recognize your value. Respect what you bring to the table and do not allow others to take advantage of your kindness or disrespect your heart ever again.

Choose the gift. Choose the lesson. 

It may be difficult at first. Many things remind you of your time together, but with time it all fades into background noise. More importantly, it positions you for real friendship and love with someone far more deserving of your presence. 

Here are 7 powerful action steps you can take today that will minimize your down-time, increase your appreciation for the experience and help you have a clear knowing that much better opportunities are in store for you. 


  • Wish that person the best (and really mean it). Thank them for the lessons you have been given, then erase them from your life (more info. on that below). 

  • Don't dwell. Every time you catch yourself having a reminiscent thought, snap yourself out of it! Replace it with thoughts about the awesome future you are creating for yourself. Do it enough and you will start to believe. The clearer your vision, the faster you will move past the situation. 

  • Don't think you need to rush into the next relationship. Give yourself time to process what happened and find your balance. Get out there and connect with people; meet new friends and hang out with those who are positive and productive, those who will build you up and encourage you. Meetup.com can be a great asset. Join groups with people who have similar interests (hiking, spirituality, running, singles...it's all there). 

  • Focus on improving you; mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. The more you become a better you, the higher level of people and opportunities you will come across and draw into your reality. 

  • If this person has lied or intentionally deceived you, then you should consider adopting my "one strike and you're out" policy. If they live their lives in this way, then this is the type of behavior they choose to adopt when trying to get something they want; it is part of who they are. DO NOT excuse or allow this type of treatment in your life. If you do it unknowingly, then it is an opportunity to learn a lesson. If you are aware, then you are an enabler. If this has been the case in your situation, close the door!  

  • Delete all pictures, texts, emails, any other correspondence, connections on Social Media...everything immediately. 

  • Understand that you will have good days and not so great days while you move through this process. Give yourself grace and love, don't beat yourself up when you are not at your best.  


Know that if you choose to learn and grow, you will be rewarded with the most honest, enriching and magical relationships moving forward. If you allow yourself to feel bitter or angry then you are just preventing yourself from connecting with what you really want and deserve.

Forgive fast and move forward in love and light. 


You've got this!

xoxo

Kim Peterson
Founder,
CommonSenseHealth.org


#Relationship #Confidence #Dating 

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Finding Strength in Solitude -- Top 3 Tips Towards Clarity

5/7/2015

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sol·i·tude

ˈsäləˌt(y)o͞od
noun
  1. the state or situation of being alone.
    "she savored her few hours of freedom and solitude"

Sometimes you serve yourself best by letting everything go and take time to nurture yourself and reflect; during a period of self imposed solitude. 



You can gain a much clearer perspective when you stop letting your challenges run you. Maybe you are reflecting on improving or leaving a toxic relationship, or perhaps you are no longer fulfilled in your career. The case may be that you are dealing with health challenges or the illness of a loved one. It could be that it is really time to make a lifestyle change and start a new health and fitness program.

Whatever your circumstance, taking a period of reflection rather than forcing what you think you need to be doing to "fix" the problem, often yields much more fruitful results.   

Contrary to popular (all inside your head) beliefs, the world will not come crashing down when you take time to pause and reflect; in fact, the circumstances may have rearranged themselves towards a much more desirable scenario while you were away ;)

When you think about it, worry and the desperate need to "fix" our challenges is rather like putting yourself in a hamster wheel. You are spinning and spinning, working yourself into a lather but getting nowhere. Instead, allow yourself the freedom and grace to honor your mind and spirit with some solitude; so that when you do jump back into things you can do so with a clear heart and mind. 

A few tips to help you make the most of this sacred time are...

Plan it: Decide that you are taking one day or a weekend perhaps to unplug and nourish yourself with whatever it is that you are desiring. Perhaps it's reading a new book, going on a long drive, hike or trip; or maybe a project that you find great joy in, like gardening.  These activities can help to disengage your brain and allow you to just "be."

Respect it: Keep your connectedness to the outside world to a minimum. Better yet, shut it down entirely. No email or Social Media checking, set your phone to do not disturb and make a promise to yourself that during this time you are choosing not to be distracted. 

Continue it: When you find yourself in mental or emotional turmoil, acknowledge your need for space. During extremely difficult life challenges, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one you made to get away more often. Do not see this as a sign of weakness or something you can ignore, instead have the thought process that you are being proactive rather than reactive with your mental health. If you take time to unplug and reflect, you will be a better person, partner, husband, wife, mother, father, son, daughter etc.   


Sometimes a little space is all we need to see a situation with fresh eyes and solutions that we could not see before. So make time for solitude and move through challenge with grace and ease that you once thought impossible.


You've got this!

xoxo

Kim Peterson
Founder,
CommonSenseHealth.org



#Reflection #MeTime 





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